Losing you, Losing me
by HeroofTwilight'sgf
Summary: "When I lost you, I lost me." Lovina has lost the man she loved the most. And it's all her fault. How will she cope? AU, Lovina/Antonio, Gilbert/Felicia Warning! Character Death! Rated T for safety


Losing you, Losing me

Her body was numb, heart as frozen as the ground beneath her feet. Tears burned in her eyes, but she refused to show them. Her younger sister sobbed into her shoulder, body trembling violently in the frigidness.

The wind gently blew the hem of her black winter coat up, but she refused to go inside. Reality had not quite caught up with her yet.

"Feli…" The albino beside them gently took her sister's hand. "You should come inside." She sniffled and nodded, red curls bobbing. He wrapped an arm around her waist and ushered her inside.

"Sorella?" Felicia Vargas called softly, her wobbling voice carrying through the stillness of the winter air. "You should come inside too, ve~…"

"No." Her sister's voice was curt, unfeeling, void of any warmth that it had once had. Felicia cringed. The brunette sighed, her heart softening slightly. "I'll be in after a while, si? Don't worry about me, sorella." She managed a weak smile.

"Feli." Her boyfriend gently tugged her inside, closing the door carefully. She let out a soft sigh as she watched the albino hug her sister for a moment before she turned back and knelt on the freshly-dug grave, fingers tracing the indentations in the gravestone that formed the words of his epitaph.

"Here lies Antonio Fernandez Carriedo." She murmured softly, voice cracking as she continued. "A wonderful friend and lover. Keep smiling." Warm tears slipped down, bringing heat to her red, frozen cheeks. "Idiota."

The rose in her hands slipped to the ground as she began to sob, heartbroken whimpers that emanated from the depths of her soul, having been buried since the news of his death had been made known.

"A-and…" She hiccupped. "H-here lies the heart of Lovina Vargas. Wh-When I lost you I lost me." She kissed her fingers and gently pressed them to the letters that made up his name. "Ti amo, Toni." She stood and wiped her tears away, sniffling.

"Sorella!" Feli hugged her tightly when she walked through the door, striking her sister with all the warmth her thin body possessed. Lovina hugged her back and pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Si?" She asked softly.

"Ve, Gilbert made hot cocoa~… Want some?"

"No, Feli. Grazie." She trudged up the stairs, shutting and locking her door behind her. She surveyed the mess that had once been her room as she laid her jacket on a chair. Her breath caught in her throat as her gaze landed on the photograph on her bedside table, a lump making it hard to swallow as tears rushed to her eyes once more.

His smiling face was pointed towards the camera, green eyes sparkling with mirth. She stood beside him, face red, a shy smile tugging the corners of her lips. That had been the day when he had first asked her out. She remembered it as if it were yesterday.

_"Loviiiiii…!" He grinned at her. She scowled. _

_ "Go away, tomato freak!" She hissed. "I'm busy!" He gave her his insufferable puppy-dog look. She merely glared back. _

_ "Aw, Lovi… Why are you so angry?"_

_ "You walked over here, freak."_

_ "I came over here to ask you something."_

_ "Then ask it and go away, idiota!" She fumed. He bit his lip hesitantly, cheery expression vanishing, only to be replaced with nervousness. _

_ "Lovi…" He sighed and rubbed his face. "Will you…go to the movies with me tomorrow night?" A cute, nervous grin stretched his lips, looking slightly like a grimace. She blinked in confusion, face growing bright red. _

_ "Ch-chigi! Why would you ask me that, freak? Did Potato Freak 1 and the Perv put you up to this?!"_

_ "No! No!" He blushed, a very rare occurrence for the Spaniard. "I…I really like you, Lovi." She froze. _

_ "Wh-what?" He took her hands and swallowed. _

_ "I-I like you. Mucho. You will, si?"_

_ "…S-si?" He grinned and swooped down, planting a kiss on her cheek. She blushed more and found herself smiling. _

_ "Say cheese!" Antonio looked to the side, and she did too, bot of them still smiling as her sister took a picture. "There!" Felicia beamed brightly. _

_ "Toni…!"_

Lovina giggled sadly, picking up the frame and pressing her lips to his beaming face.

"Oh, Toni…" She sniffled. "I miss you so much, idiota." She sat down on her bed, gently placing the frame back in its spot on her bedside table. She picked up her pillow, intending to hug it tightly and pretend it was Antonio. Instead, she frowned as she found a small white box beneath it.

Inside the box lay a small, iron cross necklace. Lovina's breath caught in her throat as she pulled it out to examine it. Engraved on the back were the words. "My little tomate." Along with the necklace came a note.

"Lovi, I am so sorry. I know you must think me cruel, but I just wanted to protect you. I hope you can forgive me. I'm your idiota, remember? Te amo." It was unsigned, but she would know Antonio's handwriting anywhere.

_"Lovi, please, listen to me, amor! I-It's not what you think!"_

_ "Shut up, freak!" She screamed. "Go away!"_

_ "Lovi-." She slapped him harshly, leaving a bright red handprint on his cheek. He blinked in shock and stepped back. "Lovi…" _

_ "SHUT UP!" She began to cry profusely, covering her face with her hands. _

_ "Please… Lo siento…" _

_ "GET OUT!" She violently shoved him out of the door, fleeing to the safety of her sister's room to sleep for the night. _

_ They were rudely awaken the next morning by Gilbert, Felicia's boyfriend. His features were grieved and panicked. _

_ "Ve, what is it, Gilly?" Felicia asked, sleepily rubbing her eyes. _

_ "I-It's Toni!" His voice shook. Lovina immediately bit her lip and stifled a cry. _

_ "He… Is he…?" Her question hung unfinished in the air as the albino slowly nodded. She shook her head violently and began to cry. "No!"_

_ Antonio was dead._

She slid the chain around her neck and began to sob once more.

"Idiota." She whispered. "Ti amo, Toni, ti amo."

"Te amo as well, Lovi." He smiled warmly at her, sitting cross-legged on her bed. She shook her head.

"Shut up!" She sniffled. "I'm the reason you're dead, tomato freak!"

"Lovi…" He wrapped his arms around her. The brunette's mind was too frazzled to even consider this a dream. "Te amo. I always will."

"T-ti amo." She stuttered in reply. He pressed a faint kiss to her forehead before he disappeared, leaving her grasping at the air. "No! ANTONIO!"

In a blur, she dashed outside, shivering in the cold air as she ran, leaving her coat in her room. "Antonio!" She saw a flash of red from the trees and headed blindly in that direction. Her sister's cries for her to come inside, or at least get a coat, fell on deaf ears.

"Lovi~…" His voice teased her ears, bouncing around tauntingly, rendering her unable to pinpoint its location.

"Where are you, Toni?!" She trembled with cold, picking a random direction, batting snow-laden branches out of her way. "Toni! Answer me!"

His laughter floated on the slight breeze, only serving to goad her into allowing her anger to surface.

"Oh, tomate~…"

"This isn't funny, Toni!" She yelled. "Show yourself!" When no response came, she scowled and stomped in a random direction.

The ground caved beneath her, swallowing her in a pit of dirt and snow. Her scream was abruptly cut off as her body landed on the frozen ground with a _thud. _

((EE*33))

The next week, another grave lay next to Antonio's. The epitaph read, "Here lies Lovina Vargas. When I lost you, I lost me. Ti amo, Toni."

The brunette stared at her grave, holding back tears at her sister's grief.

"Sorella…" She stopped as a hand rested on her shoulder.

"Tomate, we need to go." His voice was low and soft. "Gilly will take care of her. Promise." Antonio held out his other hand, which she gingerly took in her own. He hummed and grinned.

Felicia only caught a glimpse of them as she turned around, waving slightly as they disappeared to head to their resting spot for the rest of eternity.

"I lost you, I lost me." She said softly.

_**… I blame VandettACosplay for this fic (they're amazing; go check them out). I rewatched their video "Until the Day I die", knowing it would make me cry. Thus… This fic was born. Don't worry, this is not a fic about their video, for those of you that haven't seen it. I've been in a serious feels mood lately, so… Yeah.**_

_** Also, to clarify, when Lovina "hears" and "sees" and "feels" Antonio, it is not his vengeance-seeking ghost. It's actually her imagination, showing that she has already descended into insanity at Antonio's death. **_

_** So… Yeah. I don't own these characters. If I did, PruHun would be canon and Austria would be dead a thousand times over. I hope you guys enjoyed (didn't enjoy?) this bundle of feels. Please review and give me your feedback!**_

_** Also, I am considering getting a Beta Reader, so if you are one, please message me about it! And I have a poll up for you to vote on a pairing that I haven't done yet to write on! It'll probably be closed after I finish SSBB high school (or maybe earlier. Depends on my feelings.)**_

_** Arigato and Hasta Luego!**_

_** -HeroofTwilight'sgf**_


End file.
